Last month, my wife and I, with others from the CCH, attended a retreat in Northern Ireland focused on peacemaking and reconciliation. What I didn’t expect was how much it would teach me about helping congregations navigate uncertainty and change. Below are five lessons that I will carry with me as I help church leaders seeking to guide their communities toward thriving futures.
1. Looking at the Past: The Gift of Honest Reckoning
Our retreat leader Gareth Higgins shared activist Joanna Macy’s spiral framework for processing grief constructively: Coming from Gratitude, Honoring Our Pain for the World, Seeing with New Eyes, and Going Forth. Rather than rushing past difficult histories, she advocated leaning into grief as a pathway to transformation.
For congregations: Too often, churches avoid difficult conversations about their past—failed initiatives, painful conflicts, demographic changes. What if we created sacred space to grieve what’s been lost while discovering the love that still remains? Sometimes the path forward requires going through the hard stories, not around them.
2. Dealing with Disruption and Conflict: Small Moves Matter
Facilitator Paul Hutchinson, former Centre Director of Corrymeela, Northern Ireland’s oldest community of peace and reconciliation, challenged our assumptions about reconciliation. He says that sometimes, reconciliation is not embodied by a dramatic handshake—sometimes it’s “a slight move towards the other.” Do we have eyes to see those small gestures? He also offered profound insight about forgiveness: “Don’t forgive too soon.” Forgiveness is a process with chapters, like stages of grief.
At Clonard Monastery, we met Leslie, a Protestant minister who participated in secret peace talks during the Troubles. Her willingness to stay at the table despite enormous personal cost made reconciliation possible.
For congregations: When conflict emerges, Hutchinson asked us to consider: “What’s the nature and quality of the relationship? Are we rushing toward false reconciliation, or are we patient enough to do the deeper work of transformation?”
3. Celtic Spirituality: Rhythm Over Rush
On the third day of the retreat, June, one of the retreat staff, presented on Celtic spirituality, highlighting themes like creation care, hospitality, rhythm of living, and pilgrimage. Celtic spirituality wasn’t heavy on theology but rich in practices that honored the sacred in everyday life.
The directional Celtic prayer June led us on an ancient mound was particularly moving—acknowledging our place in the larger web of creation rather than rushing into our days with anxiety.
For congregations: What if churches prioritized rhythm over productivity? What if we measured success not by programs offered, but by how well we help people connect with the sacred in ordinary moments?
4. Stories That Transform: The Power of Shared Narrative
Throughout the retreat, we learned that stories carried deep meaning, and what we tell and how we tell stories – to others and to ourselves, matter. Brian Ammons, another retreat leader, invited us to consider how our attachment to a single story contributes to our conflictual relationships with others and with ourselves. What would it look like for us to reframe our stories and include other stories to weave a shared narrative?
For congregations: Every church has multiple stories running simultaneously. What stories are shaping your community’s identity? Sometimes the most powerful pastoral work is simply helping people tell their stories and feel heard.
5. What I’m Taking Away: Time Is for Love
“If God is love, and God made time, then time is for love.” Paul Hutchinson’s statement continues to marinate in my soul and my work as it challenges everything about how I typically approach ministry. Too often, we get our affirmation from doing, not being. But what if our primary calling isn’t to fill time with activities, but to create spacious, gracious time for love to emerge?
For congregations: This might be the most countercultural message churches could offer our rushed world. What would it look like to structure congregational life around this “Time is for Love” principle?
Moving Forward: The Learner’s Plate
In Ireland, student drivers must display plates with red a “L” at the front and rear of their vehicle to indicate that they are learning to drive. Ed, a Catholic peacemaker at Clonard Monastery, offered an image that has stayed with me: we should all consider ourselves wearing a “learner’s plate”—we’re all learning how to be human.
The peace process in Northern Ireland reminds us that transformation is possible, even after decades of conflict. But it requires what our guides called “a slight move towards the other”—and the eyes to see when that movement is happening.
What slight moves might your congregation be ready to make?